Back-to-School for Separated Parents: School Choice, Custody Schedules, and Logistics

As summer draws to a close and the new school year approaches, separated or divorced parents face unique challenges in ensuring a smooth transition for their children. From enrolling children in school to adjusting custody schedules, this period can be disruptive to all family members.

This blog post aims to provide guidance to co-parents who must contend with challenges such as school choice, modified custody arrangements, the costs of school supplies, and logistics around extracurricular activities.

School Choice

Recent separation or divorce may result in difficult decisions around school choice. One parent may move outside a school district or out of state, while the other parent may prefer public school or a faith-based private school.

School choice decisions depend on many factors, including whether a parent has sole legal custody or the parents have joint custody. In the latter case, if the parents cannot agree on which school their child should attend, the courts may need to intervene and determine what is in the best interests of the child.

Courts’ “best interest” analyses will consider issues such as custody schedules, proximity to the school, quality of education, parents’ availability and involvement in education, the child’s preference, the child’s educational history, expert opinions from psychologists and education professionals, etc.

Existing custody agreements and parenting plans may already have provisions that address educational decisions, which courts will consider unless a modification is deemed necessary for the child’s best interests. If agreements are silent on these issues or a parent believes that modifications are in order, it may be possible to obtain new orders from the court.

Adjusting Custody Schedules

While children’s summer schedules tend to be flexible, structured school routines can be challenging for parents and result in uneven custody schedules. For example, parents with a Monday-through-Wednesday custody schedule may find themselves deprived of meaningful time with their child during the academic year. Similarly, parents with after-work visitation rights may also be negatively impacted if the child participates in after school extracurricular activities.

While verbal agreements between co-parents can work in the short term, it is wise to formalize significant changes to custody schedules. Documenting these changes in writing can prevent misunderstandings and provide clarity for both parents and the child.

If co-parents agree on modifications, they can submit a stipulated agreement to the court for approval. This ensures that the new schedule is legally recognized and enforceable. If co-parents can’t agree on modifications, it may be necessary to mediate or to file a motion with the court to adjust custody schedules.

Prioritizing Routines and Communication

Beyond legal considerations, consistency and routine are essential to children’s emotional and mental well-being, especially during transitional times like the beginning of a new school year. Parents should work together to establish a consistent routine that spans both households. This includes aligning bedtimes, homework schedules, and extracurricular activities. A unified approach not only provides stability for the children but also helps reduce the confusion or anxiety they may feel.

According to Roxana Ardebilchi LMFT, a Los Angeles-based licensed marriage and family therapist, “committing to consistent schedules around school, meals, and bedtime, across households, is the best way to keep children feeling contained and to keep their anxiety at bay when family structures are changing.”

Informing children's school about the family situation can also be beneficial. School staff may be better positioned to support children when they are aware of major changes in family dynamics or in co-parenting arrangements. This can also help ensure that both parents receive report cards, event notifications, and parent-teacher conference schedules.

Tuition, School Supplies, and Logistics

Back-to-school shopping can be another source of tension if not properly managed. Separated parents should discuss and agree on how school supplies, uniforms, and other related expenses will be handled. Divorce settlements or child support agreements may already address which parent covers the cost of tuition, books, and supplies, but not all do.

Extracurricular activities are also an important aspect of children’s development. These activities can often extend beyond the standard school schedule, and add more complexity to coordinating drop-offs, pick-ups, and attendance at different events.

While parents can agree to splitting costs or to schedule extracurricular amongst themselves, some co-parents may be uncooperative. In these instances, a parent can file a motion with the court to compel the other to contribute to the cost of the upbringing or to further modify custody schedules to accommodate the children’s education and extracurricular schedules.

Navigating “back-to-school” season as a separated parent requires careful planning, cooperation, and a focus on the child’s well-being. By establishing consistent routines, communicating effectively with schools, and being flexible with changing schedules, co-parents can help ensure a successful and smooth transition into the new academic year.

For assistance with establishing effective co-parenting strategies, managing custody agreements, or addressing other legal issues, please contact Shayan Family Law APC. We are here to support you and your family as you navigate the complexities of new school years and new beginnings.